French Canadians are miserable people who don't deserve respectby John Looby News Co-editor French Canadians are assholes. I’m not saying this as an opinion; this is a matter of factual record. The province of Quebec consists of mostly uppity scumbags, who are always somehow surprised you don’t speak fluent French. I live in Rochester and somehow French Canadians visiting here have the sheer audacity to speak French to me with a condescending tone while I’m at work. I’m used to old people giving me shit but not old people giving me shit in French. Now, the reason I’m describing the sheer level of French Canadian douchebaggery is not just because I believe that society as a whole has a moral obligation to acknowledge how shitty they are, but because of a recent bylaw that was voted on in the city of Montreal; the subject matter of said bylaw being essentially the right of pitbulls as a dog breed to exist within the city.
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If you can't be a bigot at sporting events why be a bigot at all?by Michael Jack O'Brien Staff Bathroom Attendant On Monday, September 12th the NCAA announced that North Carolina would be stripped of all 7 athletic championships scheduled to be played in the state. The move, which can be described as “dunking on some fools” was in response to a controversial anti-LGBT law passed by the state called HB2, infamously known to its critics as the “bathroom bill”.The new bill drew ire from the federal government and civil rights advocates because of a clause that required people to use restrooms corresponding to the sex printed on the individual’s birth certificate. This would allow public buildings to enforce gender binary restrooms, and also allow public officials to refuse service to transgendered individuals if desired. The Department of Justice asserted that the new laws blatantly violate federal civil rights regulations by intentionally targeting and unfairly scrutinizing transgendered citizens while the bill’s proponents insist that the laws were created with “public safety and citizen privacy” in mind; however, it should be noted that the new laws would be near impossible to enforce without checking the genitals of every bathroom goer or requiring citizens to carry around their birth certificate, indicating that claims about “privacy” are bullshit.
Trash human continues literal garbage state of existence.by Marty Grotto Staff Garbage Man Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump neglected to acknowledge over a century of African American hardship and struggle caused by slavery, Jim Crowe, and institutional racism this week when he said that “African-American communities are absolutely in the worst shape that they’ve ever been in before. Ever, ever ever.” This, along with the other recent race related faux pas, simply marks another milestone in the delusions embedded in the psyche of the man that may be the next President of the United States of America. The same awkward, embarrassed-for-him feelings experienced during the “I love Hispanics” incident are echoed throughout his recent crusade for black voters. In general, people have recently been turned off from the candidate by watching the man attempt, in vein, to forcefully grab hold of non-white voters as if they were the perky asses of Miss America contestants. Clearly, the yield is limited for the Presidential nominee, given that numbers of black supporters are still impressively low, with some polls saying below 1%.
New Yorkers Continue Living Their Lives Because Honestly I Have Too Much To Doby Maria Byrne Staff I'm Walking Here Currently, the tristate area is on high alert from a series of bombing attacks in New York and New Jersey over the weekend. For those of you who are not familiar (I’m probably talking to no one), here are the general details: a bomb went off in New York around 8:30 p.m. Saturday on West 23rd Street between 6th and 7th avenues, spraying shrapnel at bystanders and causing a lot of broken glass and general property damage. A second undetonated device, a Sputnik-like pressure cooker with wires sticking out of it with a cell phone attached, was found on 27th street. Another blast occurred in Seaside Park, NJ during a charity race, and pipe bombs were found near a train station in Elizabeth, NJ (many of these bombs did not even detonate, and no one in NJ was injured). The police arrested Ahmad Khan Rahami on Monday in a shoot-out in Linden, NJ after linking him to both the New York and New Jersey bombings.
You mean to tell me it's not black and white?by Kyle Zarif Staff European Over the last couple of years, the face of European politics has shifted significantly. In the American press, coverage of this shift has tended to singularly focus on the rise of far-right anti-immigration parties, whose jump in popularity has supposedly been driven by the refugee crisis currently rocking the European Union. The focus on the far right by the American press is not surprising, as today, far-right populist parties enjoy parliamentary representation in Great Britain (UKIP), Sweden (Swedish Democrats), France (Front Nacional), Austria (Freedom Party), Hungary (Jobbik Movement), and The Netherlands (Party for Freedom) among others. In Germany, the far-right is represented by Alternative for Germany (AfD), a party which has made use of Nazi imagery and language in their anti-migrant inspired crusade against the center-right government of Chancellor Angela Merkel. In recent elections, AfD won parliamentary representation in several local governments, including that of the capital, Berlin. The rise of the far-right is undoubtably driven, at least in part, by the refugee crisis, a narrative the American press has pushed in their coverage of European politics. However, the political situation in Europe is far more complex and multi-faceted than this narrative seems to suggest.
White males somehow disadvantaged...by Meredith Mclaughlin Staff Politically Correct Ever since Hillary Clinton accused Donald Trump of promoting the ideals of the “alternative right,” the group has been shoved into national spotlight. But what really is the alt-right? On the surface the alt-right is a pretty interesting combination of angry young white guys who probably helped doxx the victims of Gamergate and slightly older white guys who think reverse racism is real. Some alt-righters can be found raging against sjw culture and complaining about how society is “too pc” nowadays. They’re not your grandpa’s conservatism: they use memes to push Trump into the oval office and use the word “cuckservative” to describe those on the right who ain’t pro-white enough. They’re nostalgic for the times where you could tell a “make me a sandwich” joke and it would be the wittiest thing anyone’s heard all day. If you recognise any of these traits it’s probably because you’ve seen it all in the comments section on Youtube. This is understandable, considering the alt-right movement used to be found scattered throughout obscure message boards and blogspots. However, with the movement being in the public eye more often, it’s time to look beyond the crooked Hillary memes and see what the alt-right truly represents.
Actual human trash fire proves white male privilege is still a thingby Rachel Poe Features & List Co-editor “How fast Brock swims does not lessen the severity of what happened to me, and should not lessen the severity of his punishment. If a first time offender from an underprivileged background was accused of three felonies and displayed no accountability for his actions other than drinking, what would his sentence be? The fact that Brock was an athlete at a private university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency, but as an opportunity to send a message that sexual assault is against the law regardless of social class.” - from the letter read by the victim directly to her attacker, Brock Turner, at his June 2016 sentencing.
Chill, it's not as awful as you thinkby Anastasia Lacina Staff Pikachu When Pokemon Go was released in the United States in this July, it quickly became a global phenomenon. Despite its initial technical issues (shout-out to that “Our servers are experiencing issues” screen I’ve seen a billion and a half times), Pokemon Go has become one of the most used apps of 2016, and it’s been downloaded more than 500 million times all over the world.
Probably not what they meant by "hot new update"by Carly Johnson Staff Android As if people didn’t have reason enough to hate Androids (why do you have to be that person that makes the group chat green?), the new Samsung Galaxy Note 7 poses threats not only to your involvement in group chats, but now apparently to your safety as well. This phone is being recalled after multiple reports of the phone exploding while in use or charging. One incident reports a phone explosion setting a man’s Jeep on fire. Now maybe this was just karma for owning a Jeep, but other stories also support the fact that we shouldn’t be friends with Android users because they will try to kill us with their phones.
What happens when personal choice and secularism clashby Melody Knight-Brown Opinions Co-editor So it’s hot and it’s summer, and you just so happen to be in France. What do you decide to do? Go to the beach of course, except there’s one problem. You are a Muslim female in a country where more than thirty towns have made it illegal for you to wear a burkini. What is a burkini? It is a burka bathing suit specifically designed for and almost exclusively worn by Muslim women for whom it is against their religion and customs to appear in public with as much skin a normal bikini or one-piece bathing suit show. In keeping with the style of a normal burka, the burkini covers everything except a woman’s hands, feet, and face.
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